wayweird

“Captain Silver why don’t you arm your cargo ship and repel those bloody pirates when they try to board and capture your vessel,” I asked as the seagulls circled overhead.

“Yar mate, the owners of the shipping companies would rather pay ransom than risk crew members being killed. It’s all a matter of liability costs don’t ye know…besides we’re sailors, not marines. Not many of our hands are ready to die to protect a rich ship owner’s profit.”

“Well then,” I pressed him, “Why not hire mercenaries or trained security forces and carry them along to do the dirty work?”

“Ar, you’re a sharp one young Jim Hawkins, but did ye ever stop to consider that arming ships will increase insurance costs, since insurance would be forced to cover a wider range of liability and death situations?”

Long John paused and spat a large wad of phlegm over the railing and into quiet sea below.

“Har! Learned to do that from Leonardo DiCaprio hisself, I did!  Like I was saying, insurance costs would go through the overhead…that’s roof to you lubbers. Did I ever tell you about the time crazy, old Ben Gunn blew the brains right out of a poor fisherman’s head just cause he made Ben nervous? Poor bastard was innocently approaching our merchant ship merely wanting to sell his catch.  The shipping company’s insurance rates sky-rocketed - all on account of that small misadventure.”

“But,” I insisted, “Trained security forces would be better disciplined than Ben Gunn.”

“Ye may be right young Jim, but ye may be mistak’n. Bored men on long voyages are strange creatures. Many ship owners are less worried about piracy than they are of armed men killing each other in personal disputes. Besides, the cost of carrying armed private security forces would probably exceed the cost of a potential ransom.”

“But, Captain Silver, wouldn’t your sailors rather take their chances with fellow employees rather than mean and bloodthirsty pirates? And with the increasing number attacks aren’t the owners suffering increasing financial distress?”

“Ar, Jim! Ye might have a point. But, so far the pirates haven’t hurt anyone, and until they do the ship’s crew will be more likely to surrender than fight. And until the cost of accommodating pirates exceeds the cost of fight’n them, owners aren’t likely arm up.”

For as long as they could remember, they stood 400 strong. Then the white man came looking for gold and their numbers dwindled. Their hunting grounds shrunk, and food became scarce. They had a choice: poach from the nearby farms and ranches or starve.

When they chose raiding and poaching, they also chose to brave the wrath of those from whom they stole. The results of that wrath were deadly. The white settlers hunted them relentlessly - killing 74 of them in 1865. The next year 40 fell at Three Knolls and 33 at Dry Camp. After the Kingsley Cave/Morgan Camp massacre in 1871 there were only six left.

By 1911 there was only one.

On this day in 1916, Ishi the last of the Yahi tribe died from tuberculosis.

If we were ancient Romans we’d now be enduring the toughest day of an two week long religious festival. March 24^th was the “Day of Blood” during the Feast of Cybele. This celebration was held to ensure agricultural fertility for the next year. The festival commemorates the death and resurrection of Cybele’s son and lover Attis.  He died when he castrated himself by allowing a pig to bite off his genitals.

The Day of Blood was the high point of the festival. Cybele’s priests would publicly draw massive amounts of blood from their arms and offer it to the goddess. At this point the worshippers had reached such frenzy that some would castrate and flagellate themselves in the streets, in imitation of Attis.  Others would cut off various parts of their body and run through the city throwing fingers, penises, genitals, hands, and sometimes even arms in houses at random.

The Taurobolium often occurred on this day as well. This was a ritual where worshippers (usually males) who were looking to have their sins washed away and be “born again” were bathed in the blood of a castrated bull.

Talk about holiday stress.

I always thought this kind of stuff was purely fantasy, but there have actually been cage fights in a Dallas high school.  Documents obtained by The Dallas Morning News show that troubled students at South Oak Cliff High School were sent to duke it out - with bare fists and no head protection - in a steel utility cage in an athletic locker room.

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/031909dnmetcagefight.3dfc1c3.html

Could it be that the principal’s favorite movie character was Mad Max? Did he fancy himself a movie director? I can see it all now:

The school athletes are assembled around the cage and a member of the faculty announces:

“WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF THUNDERDOME!!”

Two students enter. One student leaves!

“Here are Scotland’s terms:

Lower your flags and march straight back to England - stopping at every home you pass by to beg forgiveness for a hundred years of theft, rape and murder.

Do that and your men shall live. Do it not, and every one of you will die today.

Before we let you leave… your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his own legs and kiss his own arse.”

Most movie fans will recognize this challenge issued by Mel Gibson’s version of William Wallace to the English envoy on Stirling Field.

Why do I bring this up on today of all days?

It’s only because on this day in 1328 the Treaty of Edinburgh-Northampton was signed in Edinburgh by Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland, and was later ratified by the English Parliament in Northampton. It brought an end to the First War of Scottish Independence, which had begun with the English invasion of Scotland in 1296.

The First War of Scottish Independence started because there was no clear cut heir to the Scottish throne after King Alexander III fell off his horse and broke his neck in 1286. Edward I of England (Long Shanks - Patrick McGoohan) initially supported the claim of John Balliol, who was crowned King of Scots in 1292, but then he changed his mind and decided he wanted Scotland for himself. After Balliol’s removal and exile, Robert the Bruce broke from the English camp and took up his own rival claim to the crown, by leading a resistance to Edward.

The drama we witness whenever we pop the old Braveheart disc into the DVD player shows us only the early part of that war which cost rivers of blood and mountains of grief. The struggle lasted 32 years and can be broken down into roughly four phases:

1. The initial English invasion and success in 1296.
2. The campaigns led by William Wallace, and various other Scottish Guardians from 1297 until the threat of English penetration into northern Scotland compelled a general Scottish submission in February 1304.
3. Renewed campaigns led by Robert the Bruce between his coronation in 1306 and the Scottish victory at Bannockburn in 1314.
4. The final phase of Scottish diplomatic initiatives and military campaigns in Scotland, Ireland and Northern England from 1314 until the peace treaty in 1328.

Even the last, decisive scene of Mel Gibson’s movie showing the Battle of Bannockburn (which took place eight years after William Wallace’s execution) occurs fourteen years before Scotland was finally able to regain its independence.

So what’s the lesson we want to take away from this episode in history? How about this? Freedom can be lost overnight and once lost it is hard to regain.

Any body out there ever hear of the Long Gray Line? Just how long is it? Where was it drawn?

Never mind. I’ll Google it.

Oh, here it is. It’s the title of a 1955 drama directed by John Ford. The phrase “The Long Gray Line” is used to describe, as a continuum, all graduates and cadets of the United States Military Academy at West Point, New York.

I reckon that’s a pretty long line - starting with the first official graduate of the academy, Joseph Gardner Swift and extending all the way to the lowliest plebe (that’s a freshman for you civilians) surviving there today.

I was just wondering because this is the anniversary of the day President Thomas Jefferson signed a law establishing this superb educational institution and leadership factory. The U.S. Military Academy was born in 1802 on this date.

West Point came into being during a time when higher education was available only to the rich. Those who could afford tuition for college were usually admitted wherever they applied. Things were different at West Point. Admission to the U.S. Military Academy was based on merit - regardless of economic station.

The Long Gray Line has provided the military leadership that has seen us through some hard times. General Ulysses S. Grant fought against tough opposition from fellow graduates such as Generals Robert E. Lee and James Longstreet before he finally defeated the Confederacy and preserved the union in 1865. West Pointers MacArthur and Eisenhower led U.S. forces to victory against Imperial Japan and Nazi Germany eighty years later.

West Point has produced leaders for the corporate world and academia as well, including Jim Kimsey, founder of AOL, Jim Hicks, president of JC Penny, Alden Partridge, founder of Norwich University, and Oliver O. Howard, founder of Howard University.

West Point’s motto stands as solid as its reputation:

 Duty, Honor, Country.

“My friends:

I want to talk for a few minutes with the people of the United States about banking — to talk with the comparatively few who understand the mechanics of banking, but more particularly with the overwhelming majority of you who use banks for the making of deposits and the drawing of checks.

I want to tell you what has been done in the last few days, and why it was done, and what the next steps are going to be…”

With these words President Franklin D Roosevelt opened his first fireside chat on 12 March 1933. The fireside chats were a series of thirty evening radio speeches given by Roosevelt 1933 and 1944. Although radio is something that we take so much for granted today, back in ‘33 he was on the cutting edge. Perhaps it might even be said that Roosevelt began a revolution in the democratic process with these broadcasts.

When our country was young, the only people that got to see or hear the nation’s chief executive were the folks from his home county or those lucky enough to be in the town square when he happened to pass through on his way to the capitol.

Even with the advent of the railroad and the telegraph only a relative handful of citizens got a first hand look at the U.S. President during whistle stops. Most had to settle for reading his words in the newspaper and seeing his picture in the same.

FDR was our first president to come directly into the American household via radio. Since that first fireside chat almost every American has had a direct experience with this nation’s leader, through radio, television or the internet.

How has this affected the democratic process? The most obvious answer is now candidates have to be pretty photogenic and charismatic to even be considered for the office. If a guy has a squeaky voice similar to George Patton’s forget about it.

The better a candidate reads a teleprompter, the better that candidate’s chances for election.

The world’s view of women has changed some in recent history, and since March is Women’s History Month it would be fitting and proper to mark some special anniversaries that occur during this period.

In March 1946, Italian women turned out to vote for the first time. Even though their influence was limited to local elections, this first step was a major advance.

In March 1949, American Mildred Gillars was convicted of treason. Better known as Axis Sally during World War II, Gillars applied a woman’s touch to her Nazi propaganda broadcasts. She worked to demoralize Allied soldiers by reminding them that their wives and girlfriends might get tired of waiting for them, so they had better quit the fight and go home.

In March 1975, the third woman to hold a U.S. cabinet position was appointed. Carla Hills became Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.

These ladies demonstrate that women - like men - can exert their influence for good or ill but, their sway cannot be denied.

On this day in 1790 Benjamin Franklin wrote a reply to inquiries from Ezra Stiles, the President of Yale College, concerning his religious belief.  This is what the 84 year-old Franklin had to say:

Here is my creed: I believe in one God, the Creator of the universe. That he governs it by his providence. That he ought to be worshiped. That the most acceptable service we render him is doing good to his other children. That the soul of man is immortal, and will be treated with justice in another life respecting its conduct in this.”

Here we have the American Socrates professing his belief in God and a judgment day. He is considered one of the great Rationalists. He believed that the truth can best be discovered by reason and factual analysis, rather than through faith, dogma or religious teaching. Yet he believed in God, the immortality of the soul and a judgment day.These days we have a guy by the name of Bill Maher, who claims to be a rationalist. He says that “If you believe in judgment day, then I have to seriously question your judgment.”

Mmmm…on one hand we can trust the judgment of a two-bit comic or on the other we can trust the judgment of one of our founding fathers and a very thoughtful man. How tough a choice is that?

 Way back in the 1960’s when we were studying geography and history our teachers would always tell us the United States was mighty nation - a nation of immigrants who were unified because America was a great “melting pot”. When I heard this my imagination would immediately summon a vision of all these Polish, Italian, and Irish folks (in their national costumes) being scooped up into a big ladle, thrown into a giant fondue pot, melted down into molten liquid, and this formless mass finally being poured into a G.I. Joe mold. Nothing is more American to me than G.I. Joe.

This theory sounded good to me, except I still had a hard time understanding my grandfather because of his thick Polish accent. The melting pot hadn’t fixed that, but I had no problem understanding what everyone else in the family had to say and we all enjoyed football as did most of the people in the neighborhood. So it looked like the melting pot idea worked. We were all Americans.

I started out on this melting pot tangent because on this day in 1888 Knute Kenneth Rockne was born in Voss, Norway. He emigrated with his parents at five to Chicago and grew up in the Logan Square area (the same neighborhood where my Polish grandfather settled in the 1920’s), on the northwest side of the city.

Any sports fan knows that Rockne is one of the greatest coaches in college football history. His biography at the College Football Hall of Fame (South Bend, IN) calls him “American football’s most-renowned coach.” He is credited with popularizing the use of the forward pass.

Rockne is an American sports legend. As head coach of the University of Notre Dame from 1918 to 1930, he set the greatest all-time winning percentage of 88.1%, since eclipsed but still the best percentage in Division I-A. During 13 years as head coach, he guided the Fight’n Irish to 105 victories, 12 losses, 5 ties, and 6 national championships, including 5 undefeated seasons without a tie.

The melting pot worked for Rockne and our country back then. Here we have a native born Norwegian whose name became synonymous with American football. What bigger success story could you ever imagine?

Immigrants came to the U.S. through Ellis Island. They worked to absorb the ways of the “host” society, while loosening to varying degrees their connection to their native culture. But that’s not the way it is now.

Today we go by the politically correct model of the “salad bowl”, which emphasizes that each ethnic and national group should maintain and preserve its cultural distinction and integrity, and that one doesn’t need to blend in or merge into the existing American society. The new immigrants are no longer under pressure to Americanize. Many aren’t motivated to even learn English.

Political correctness and the “salad bowl” mentality won’t produce any Knute  Rocknes. The question is - what will it buy us?